are you seeing what I'm seeing?

Dear Mike Pelfrey:

I just read an article on ESPN.com where you, in refer to your expectations of the the Mets this season by stating: "We pretty much have the same team and the same rotation that a lot of people picked to win the World Series last year. Now everybody is so down on us." I retort umm maybe Oliver Perez isn't the only crazy guy in the Mets starting rotation.

Where should I start with how wrong that statement is. Well since you are a starting picture lets start with the rotation. Ace: while Johan is coming off surgery indications are he will be ok. He has been phenomenal since becoming a Met and his pitching last season was the only bright spot for an otherwise dismal team. While I certainly don't believe a word that comes out of the Mets bullshit PR machine I believe in Johan. Why you ask because he has proven himself a winner and a gamer year after year time after time. That brings us to you, Maine and Perez. None of the rest of the men in the starting rotation have proven time and time again that they can be winners. Flashes of brilliance do not inspire long term confidence. Last year you were coming off the end a season where you appeared to break out and turn the professional cornor. This year you are coming off of a horrible season, injuries, poor pitching, the yipps -- you did not pitch well. So yes you are the number two again, excuse me for not thinking you are going to live up to the hype. Maine..." this year he is healthy and will revert to his past excellence" is the story we are expected to believe. This is starting to feel a bit like the boy who cried wolf to me. I guess I'll believe it when I see it. Perez... there are not enough hours in the day for me to explain why he is a mistake and why I have no hope for him or his abilities. And as for the fifth starter, last year there were some solid veterans and unproven rookies that the organization hyped us to believe could be impact players. This year we have a few young guys who have shown in limited experience in the bigs that they do not have what it takes to be a starter in the major leagues. Enough said.

How about the bullpen. Starting with K-Rod. Two year ago he had 62 saves with a 2.24 ERA. Last year he had 35 saves with a 3.71 ERA. And did I mention he switched from the AL to the NL so no more desigated hitter? While K-Rod certainly wasn't a bust and he wasn't the reason the team sucked hard last year, forgive me for not thinking he is God. JJ Putz is gone and who is replacing him Pedro Feliciano a guy who is coming off a season where he pitched 6.2 innings. Questionable at best. After that the bullpen is made up of two rookies and a group of guys who averaged ERAS over 5 last year.

How about the starters. First base, Carlos Delgado coming off a season where he hit .271 with a slugging percentage of .518 verses Daniel Murphy coming off of a disappointing .266, .427 year. Luis Castio is a year older and a year slower, he is at the end of an excellent career but it is insanity to think he is going to ever be the offensive or defensive player he was in the past. At short stop we have glass legs Jose Reyes. No he probably won't be ready to start the season. He has shown flashes of brilliance but he can't stay health and he has failed as a lead-off hitter because he has no batters eye. The bloom is off the rose. David Wright, here I'm still hopeful. Yes his power numbers are way down but I'm not willing to give up on him to he is consistently down. See I'm a Mets fan. Arguably the Mets are better in the corner outfield positions. Bay should certainly be an significant upgrade on Murphy, offensively and defensively. I am hoping Frankie will have a real bounce back year and be a great asset to the team. Carlos Beltran is starting the year on the DL and frankly I don't know when he will be back. This is the same injury that ended his season last year and no amount of surge and rehab during the winter has made much of a reported change. Even when he does comeback it is crazy to assume that he will be the Beltran of two years ago, he will have to lose a step defensively and who knows what he will do with the bat. Finally catcher. Admittedly Schnider wasn't a star for the Mets, but his replacements this year leave a ton to be desired. For me upper management's failure to find a catcher of ay caliber to play this year is a clear indication that they have given up on this season as well.

All that being said, are you sure you want to stand by your words in that ESPN article? Hey, I'm a Mets fan. I hope for the best. And in spite of what I have just written I believe that you guys could be a sleeper team. After all "Ya Gotta Believe," and I will not congratulate any team before the final out is on the score card. See you at the ball park.

Sincerely,

Amy

PS... have you noticed how much the Phillies and Braves, and even the Marlins, have improved their teams? I guess that is another letter.

Doc strikes out yet again

I'm very sorry to read this morning that Doc Gooden was arrested yet again on drug related charges. I remember a you Dr. K blazing onto the field at Shea Stadium. He was so skinny but he had such power and movement in his fastball. I was only a kid but watching him pitch in 84 & 85 & 86 are some of the happiest memories of my childhood.

I've never been a drug user and Doc is one of the main reasons for this. His fall from grace has always been one of my main inspirations to stay off of drugs. Most people today don't understand the numbers a young Doc put up and where he could be in history if he would have kept straight. For three years, his rookie, sophomore, and third year in the biggs he was unquestionably the most dominating picture in the big leagues. No pitcher ever burst onto the professional baseball scene to steal the show like Doc. It is hard to fathom how, if he would have avoided drug addiction, he would not have been a first ballot hall of famer.

Thank you for the memories but not for the inspiration. I hope you get well and stay well.

dread

So there is something I have been dreading doing and I did it and it wasn't bad at all. Actually it made me feel good. Why I dreaded it I'm not sure except the usual fears of rejection and failure and general insecurity. I wish I could get over that.

I used to have a fried that was incompetent. Even when he tried to do something well, really tried he did it poorly. I always thought if I only had his bravery I could take over the world. I am competent and smart, but scared. I wish I could get over that.

who the hell made this shit up

I went out to dinner with a friend of mine for a great Thai dinner (roasted pork... if you are interested) and then we went back to her place to watch a movie. After the movie was over she put on Bravo and we talked for a bit. The show "House" was on syndication. This is a show that I have heard people say they enjoy and have told me I would like. Now I only saw two episodes and we were chatting through them so I wasn't completely enthralled but I must say who the hell made this shit up. The plot, the characters, the story lines, the problem solved in the alloted time. What the hell! Sure the main doctor's dry wit and consideration is somewhat funny. I would like to tell stupid people where to stick it too, but there is a time and a place where that shit is believable and treating a critically ill child is not that time. And the fact that everything is one formulaic story repeating over and over again. Bad TV... I said it before and I'll say it again... so glad I don't have cable.

Up in the Air

I just rented "Up in the Air" on netflix and I haven't seen a movie I liked so much since Saved! It is great when a that a movie can unintentionally reaffirm your life choices.

In this movie George Clooney lives a nomadic independent life. He enjoys that life and creates a philosophy of independence. When he meets Vera Farmiga in a time when his job is in limbo he decides it is kismet and time to settle down. Not to give too much away but he ends up broken hearted reinforcing the correctness of his philosophy.

Im not looking for love. People I do let into my life tend to hurt me. Does being uber-independent make me an asshole? Is the occasional loneliness worth it? My backpack is pretty empty and I love it. Maybe others don't and I understand that, but for me I am pretty happy.

I highly recommend this movie.

A few words about Oscar

Just a few personal notices and observations:

• For the first time in allot of years I haven't seen very many of the Oscar nominated movies. I need to get watching. Can't say whether or not this movie was better than that one because I simply hadn't seen them. Shame on me!
• My favorite part of the Oscars is generally the death montoge. I was disapointed in it this year. In a year when there were so many "celebrety deaths" it seemed shorter and I felt like there were allot of people missing. I mean where was Farrah Fawcett? Why the focus on James Taylor instead of those movie people who passed on? Poor taste.
• I did love the tribute to John Hughes. I loved his movies, his voice, and his character. I often feel like an outsider in this world but a John Hughes film always makes me feel good about myself because he celebrated the diversity. On a related note Judd Nelson is really aging badly.
• Sarah Jessica Parker's dress cause quite the debate with the friends I was watching the show with. I liked it. I agree she has worn more flattering clothing and her body wasn't displayed to the optimum but I thought the dress was very nice and she seemed very comfotable in it.
• Shout out to the plus size women at the Oscars. Oftan bigger women at the Oscars don't dress well. This year it looked like the designers agreed that it was time to make these talented ladies look beautiful! I for one really liked it!
• Nice to see a woman win best director. Havent' seen "The Hurt Locker," but it is going on my must rent list.
• I thought the hosts did an excellent job!
• The show was long. Yet they really seemed to cut the acceptance speeches short. I felt really bad when there were multiple winners and the first speaker took all the time and a second winner couldn't even thank "his beautiful wife." I'm not sure what the solution is except moving some awards off of the Oscar night.
• Was it just me or there seem to be segregated seating at the Oscars this year. It seemed all the people of color were sitting together near the back.
• George Clooney is sooooooo hot!
• Kathy Ireland was so annoying on the "pre-game." I'm not sure if her dress was too tight or she was nervous but it seemed like she couldn't breath. And her gestures were very robotic. Two thumbs down.
• Was Jeff Bridges paying the "Dude" accepting his award?
• I liked the horror montage... but did anyone else find it a bit strange the Beetlejuice was a horror movie?

All in all good show... I look forward to next year!

Netflix - you don't know me!!!

I like to think of myself as a person who knows who she is and what she likes. Yet it never fails to astonish me how well Netfix knows my tastes. It seems whenever I chose to rent a movie from Netflix against their recommendation I don't like it and when I chose to rent one they suggest I love it. So what's the problem you ask. Just do what Netflix tells you. The problems is the part of me that hates being told what to do by anybody, especially a corporate body like Netflix, completely rebels against that logical suggestion. Artificial intelligence cannot ever overcome the illogic of the human psyche. So what is a corporation to do? What should I do? I guess the human psyche is just two complex for Netflix or me to figure out tonight... I think I'll just read a book.

A good cry

Why is it a good cry often makes me feel so good. I have a love/hate relationship with the movie "The Joy Luck Club." Everytime I watch it I guarantee myself two hour cry-fest. I mean I start crying during the opening credits and snot is running out of my nose through most of the show. When the movie is over I always ask myself why I do this to myself... why drudge up these horrible feelings and emotions.

I guess it is to release them. An hour after I watch "The Joy Luck Club," after the tissues are put away, I always feel good. The movie and the cry clean me out. I know one of my biggest weaknesses is to repress my feelings. I don't tell people when they hurt me and I let very few people into my private thoughts. I feel guilty if I give more than I take. Maybe crying is a way to compensate. I don't know.

I've always considered myself somewhat of a hedonist. I don't take it so far that I hurt others, but I like having a good time. I like to indulge. I love a good meal, time with friends, the emotional satisfaction of doing things where I am a winner. Maybe there is a sense of joy inherent in feeling bad too. It makes you see everything else so clearly. I don't know. One to think on I guess.