Lost part 9: childhood

In the episode 23 Palms we are treated to a glimpse into the life and background of Eko. Eko is Nigerian and as a child warlords came to his village and put a gun in his younger brother's hand and force him on penalty of death to shoot an old man. Eko takes the gun from his brother and kills the old man himself and then the warlords take him with them out of the village. This is a common practice in war-torn parts of Africa. These warlords need fighters for their armies and by forcing children to commit atrocities and taking them form their homes they separate the children physically and psychologically from their families.

Fast-forward twenty years and we find Eko did save his brother. His brother is now a priest and Eko is a drug running murder. I frequently debate with myself how much of a role nurture plays in personality development. I talk to my friends with multiple children and hear them say that this child was outgoing at birth and this one was shy from the beginning. Or this baby was happy and that one was fussy right from the moment they are born. Yet when I look at the people I know, the happiest and most content adults had the happiest most content childhood.

Of course it is impossible to know how much of what I perceive as a happy childhood is honest and how much is for show. I personally was a miserable child but I spent most of my life trying to hide this fact. But I think there is definitely a correlation between childhood environment and adult personality.

It is interesting that I hear a number of my friends with children talking about parenting philosophies. I don't think organic food, cloth dippers, or no TV will make your child happy in the long run. It is the time you spend with him/her that will make him/her a strong, happy, balanced person. It is all about balance and love.